Friday, May 19, 2006

Starting Out: Some thoughts on parenting...

A friend of mine was talking about how she would like to journal about all the things she thinks about as she parents her little guy, and I thought that was such a great idea that I thought I might do the same...so, here it goes! Some thoughts on parenting...
Sometimes I think that people without kids must look at my life and think it is so dull. With certain people, when they ask me about my day, my life, what I'm up to, I have no idea what to say beyond playing with Luke, going for walks, changing diapers, etc. And I feel like some people feel sorry for me and feel like my life has become rather dull. But they have no idea. I don't think I had any idea before we had Luke. Every day with Luke is amazing. I find him utterly fascinating. I think I could watch him like a tv all day long and never grow tired of it. His every facial expression, every action, is motivated out of pure desire and emotion, it's so raw and real and beautiful. Like when Julio plays peekaboo with him, crawling around the house on all fours and popping up behind any random piece of furniture, and Luke immediately starts smiling...and soon that smile turns into a giggle and the giggles turn into a laughing fit and soon we're all completely losing it and I can't remember ever having so much fun. Or watching him try to put a piece of bread in his mouth, grabbing it and shoving his whole hand inside his mouth in a hope that somehow the bread will find it's way in and actually stay in. I remember the week he was learning to eat Cheerios and how my heart kept breaking for him as he would drop a Cheerio just as it was getting close to his mouth...but how he never flinched and just tried again. Now that is truly something to marvel at...kids have this amazing ability to try again even when they have failed 20 times before. Something motivates them to keep going. So why can't I be more like that?!? I want to paint a few canvases for my living room wall, but after a couple of attempts at creating something on canvas that my mind envisions, I get discouraged and give up. What if I had tried 20, maybe even just 10 times? What would the result be? I'm sure I would be proudly displaying my silly little art project on my living room wall right now. How crazy it is that I'm learning these lessons from someone so small.
So how do I communicate all this to someone who thinks my life is dull, in a sentence or two? How do I explain that, even though I like to be home by 8:30 every night, my life is more exciting than it's ever been? No, parenting is challenging at times, often tiring, but definitely never dull. I would never go back in a million years, Luke has made my life so infinitely more amazing and I praise God for all He is teaching me through him.

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