Not what I thought

A friend of mine told me years ago that parenting wasn't what she thought it would be. She said that no one can really prepare you for what it will be like, and that it is harder than you can imagine. I have to agree these days. I think it's the all-the-timeness of it that makes it hard at times. Luke has had a cold for several weeks and has been waking more frequently at night, wanting to nurse more, etc, and it has been a bit draining. But the wonder of parenting is that in all of these moments, I wouldn't trade it for a childless life ever. Love is a funny thing. I love Luke so much that I think about him most of the time and can become obsessed with his "success" at each stage of his life. And I worry if he's not "succeeding" and I'm elated when he does. I'll explain. For example, I decided about a week ago that it was time that he mastered the sippy cup. We're starting to give him a bit of milk and I've had people tell me not to give him a bottle, but to go straight to a sippy cup (to avoid "double-weaning"). So I spent several days giving him the sippy cup, without the valve, with the valve, without the valve, with the valve, so he would understand that stuff comes out of the spout. Well, for several days he didn't suck on it when the valve was in, and it was stressing me out! I thought, oh no, he'll never learn this! And then one day, he just started sucking on it and it worked and now he can use it just fine. So much stress for nothing. But I tell you, sippy cups had never been so much on my mind then for those few days! And now it's eating...he's decided that all he likes is quesadillas. I'm thinking that it's because we had a guy from Mexico stay with us for a couple of weeks and it had a profound effect on him. I'm not sure. Sounds funny, maybe, but it's been a bit stressful! He doesn't want to be spoonfed, he doesn't want to eat any vegetables and he's just figured out in the last couple of weeks that if he doesn't like food, he can actually spit it out. So, my life has become one quesadilla-filled culinary adventure. Luke has now had, not only cheese quesadillas, but also rice, peas, chicken, yogurt and cheese quesadillas and the latest, squash and cheese quesadillas. Julio and I both thought the squash quesadillas weren't that bad actually...
So I guess one of the reasons why parenting is hard is because you don't want to mess up and you don't want to mess your kid up. And you don't know what to make a big deal of and what to relax about. But here are a couple of things I'm learning about Luke: forcing him to do things is not highly effective. If he doesn't want to eat, he won't. When he's hungry, he will indeed eat, even if it is only quesadillas. Another thing: "no," to him, is probably the funniest word out there. He giggles immediately almost whenever I say it. And it makes whatever he's doing all that much more enjoyable. I haven't quite figured out the answer to this conundrum but today, when he was reaching for the lamp and I said no, his giggle and smile were so cute that I had to laugh for a while too.
All the stress and parenting disillusionment aside, Luke is a great kid. Tonight Julio and I watched him for about 20 minutes just play with a pen as he was "writing" on paper and babbling away. It was amazing. I can't get over how smart he is, how curious and independent he is, how he finds humour in things that I can only wonder at, and how somehow by the grace of God, I get to be this amazing kid's mother.